Helping.Mom
Army Vet goes home to care for mom.
Terry closed his restaurant in Texas to care for his elderly mom on their family farm in Indiana. What happened next, no one could have predicted. In this "Helping Mom" podcast, Terry gives fellow caregivers real-world tips and straight-talk motivation to love & serve those who loved & served us--our parents!
You can find his fast-read book "Beginnings" on Amazon Kindle & Softback.
Terry is disabled Army Veteran, with 4 university degrees, and proud Dad to 5 daughters. He has taught university in Europe, Asia & Africa. He completed Harvard University Faith & Leadership program. His work includes Soldier, attorney, champion basketball coach, and Fortune 500. His restaurant was 2-X Best of Region.
Terry is medical guardian to his mom, Sherry, and full-time caregiver to her brother, Uncle Perry, who also lives on their family farm. For his own therapy Terry raises pure AKC White German Shepherd pups for military veterans & other great families, thru his non-profit PatriotPups.org WOOF!
Terry welcomes your emails of your experiences, stories, tips and ideas, in addition to prayer requests, at Info@helping.mom
Helping.Mom
Cost of Being "right" as Caregiver
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Intro: Tragic true story of noncommunicative octogenarian man thought for years to be incontinent--who wasnt
To be right is to be alone, and sometimes to be very, very wrong.
4 Things we must be right about in CG:
Safety & Security of CR
Cash Flow (nonpaid bills are lurking snakes)--IU Health as example
Medical State as of right now: appts, meds, conditions, supplies, RX, TX, DX,
What is next…what if…
But what does it mean “right?” One Beautiful Bill, Grand Scheme, Elegant Solution, Kick closest snake, pragmatism, utilitarianism, ethically right, morally right, legally right, range of options, Look to median & mean, Venn Diagram. Is 80% solution enough. Close enough for govt work? What is the STD, who defines?
Do we find right by Logic, Hunch, Counsel, Advice, Skill, Training, Intuition, Zodiac?
Right for who? CR, CG, Stakeholders, Fam, Med Provider?
At West Point--choose the hard right over easy wrong. But most times we are not morally wrong.
In seeking right, there are traps to avoid, per Dr. Caroline Leaf
1-Sometimes our need to be right is fear dressed as logic. Truth is--we dont know. But we are expected to, so we feel pressure to stab at being right. Hwer is where we need to be aware of biases--confirmation, achor, social conformity, halo effect
2-When we prove a point, we build distance not connections. There are only so many times you can be “right” with CR and not lose completely your relationship w her
3-If you always have to win, you’re not communicating, you’re keeping score. Zero Sum Game.
4-Needing to be right makes it real hard to learn what’s actually true.
5-Most pain is caused by people who are right, who know truth, but communicate it as weapon--either as knife or mallet
6-If the conversation is about control, nobody’s listening. Break and regroup later.
