Helping.Mom
Army Vet goes home to care for mom.
Terry closed his restaurant in Texas to care for his elderly mom on their family farm in Indiana. What happened next, no one could have predicted. In this "Helping Mom" podcast, Terry gives fellow caregivers real-world tips and straight-talk motivation to love & serve those who loved & served us--our parents!
You can find his fast-read book "Beginnings" on Amazon Kindle & Softback.
Terry is disabled Army Veteran, with 4 university degrees, and proud Dad to 5 daughters. He has taught university in Europe, Asia & Africa. He completed Harvard University Faith & Leadership program. His work includes Soldier, attorney, champion basketball coach, and Fortune 500. His restaurant was 2-X Best of Region.
Terry is medical guardian to his mom, Sherry, and full-time caregiver to her brother, Uncle Perry, who also lives on their family farm. For his own therapy Terry raises pure AKC White German Shepherd pups for military veterans & other great families, thru his non-profit PatriotPups.org WOOF!
Terry welcomes your emails of your experiences, stories, tips and ideas, in addition to prayer requests, at Info@helping.mom
Helping.Mom
WHEN to LIE to MOM. Caregiver “White Lies”
Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam)
WHEN to Lie to Mom
Liar liar pants on fire, when is it right to lie to your mother. Or other care receiver?
We Lie all time:
Like fletcher Reed in hilarious Jim Carrey movie liar liar. What would happen if we had to tell truth in every situation for 24 hrs!!!
We lie so often we call them white lies. Pure lies. Harmless lies. Since 1500s—pure lies oxymoron.
Dont lie, when phone rings, “tell them im not here.”
You look great in that outfit
Don’t tell your mother!
Kids: I promise, we won’t…
I swear to God…
On my mother’s life
Cross my heart, hope to die…stick a needle in my eye!
No, granny, we love your meatloaf; its just that we ate before we got here.
Im on my way.
Well be there in 10 minutes
Your kids not fat, just big boned.
Im eating for 2.
Laughing at joke that wasn't really funny
Ill call you.
Were praying for ya’
I didn't get your text
Everything coming out of wash dc!
Joke: how do you know when a politician is lying—their lips are moving.
Verses in Bible which make lying a sin:
Lying lips are an abomination to God
God hates a lying tongue
Satan is father of liars; he was liar from beginning
Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness Against Your Neighbor
So when is right:
When safety dictates. “The doctor said..”
When they cannot distinguish reality from fiction. When truth too much. It confuses. It’s too complex
When you know their limits but they do not. It preserves their sanity.
When it preserves your health and sanity
Its my business, and no one else’s business
To protect someone else, their name, their face. Their good graces.
Many things too trivial & unimportant to Go into, explain, defend, justify
When challenges key belief stereotype bias she leans on. Even crazy things
When she will forget
IF person emotionally fragile, near death, or would be confused by truth.
Where in situation unable to control (were going to die in plane crash; “everything’s okay.” Or you have bad information
When cost of telling truth outweighs cost of lie (hiding a Jew example)
Tips on How to Lie:
Speak truth in love
Love covers multitude of sins
If can’t, say next best thing
Never in anger
Never to hurt
Be positive
Speak in active voice
Goal: best quality of life possible w-I larger context of rights & interests of others
What say let be truth—even if incomplete
If real serious involve someone else in discussion
