4 Traits of Great Caregivers by Ralph Waldo Emerson Who's Ellen?

Ellen Emerson exemplifies the struggles and triumphs of being a caregiver to her famous father, Ralph Waldo Emerson. The episode shares practical insights for caregivers, encouraging them to embrace their unique journeys.

• Discussion of Ellen Emerson's caregiving experience for Ralph Waldo Emerson 
• Exploration of four key principles from Ralph Waldo Emerson relevant to caregiving 
• Importance of personal purpose and courage in the caregiving journey 

Thanks for listening! Email me your thoughts, ideas, experiences, or prayer requests at info@helpingmom.com. I personally read and respond to each one. 

Chapters

• 1:00 Intro Ellen Emerson's Caregiving Journey
• 2:50 Ralph Waldo Emerson's 4 Traits of Great Caregivers

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Hey friends, this is Terry with Helping Mom. Do you think that when Ellen Emerson was caregiving for her great, famous dad that she quoted him on what it takes to be a great caregiver? Well, stay tuned. Today we're going to talk about the four things that her dad said that will help us be outstanding caregivers in our day. First, a note from our sponsors If you want the perfect family dog, go to patriotpupsorg, where they hand raise pure AKC white German shepherds.

Speaker 1: 0:31

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Speaker 1: 1:02

Who was Ellen Emerson? Well, if you had asked her famous father, ralph Waldo, he would have said to you she's my life, she's my daughter, she's my caregiver. Ralph Waldo Emerson is the greatest mind that our country has ever produced. He is what someone called a public intellectual. Well, I would add, public intellectual par excellence. He influenced nations and presidents and governors and students, researchers, scholars, poets, writers, authors. Ralph Waldo Emerson preached, wrote books, wrote letters, wrote essays, traveled around the world, thinking, communicating, listening, growing, challenging, comforting.

Speaker 1: 1:42

But did you know, in the last five years of his life he couldn't even remember his name. He suffered something like dementia, alzheimer's, and so it was this gradual decline. He buried a wife, his house burned down. He couldn't recall the names of any of the articles, the essays, the books that he was famous for. He could no longer speak in public. In fact, he forgot his name. But his daughter, bless her heart, was his caregiver. In fact, he forgot his name, but his daughter, bless her heart, was his caregiver. She refused to let her father just die a miserable, lonely, sad death in his house in Concord Mass. She would take him out by the hand and say, father, you're still a blessing to so many people. She would take him to various awards around the country that he would receive, even though he wouldn't speak. She would sit with him on the stage and just encourage him to smile and take it in In. She would sit with them on the stage and just encourage him to smile and take it in. In other words, be a blessing to others. Even if you're losing your mind Because of Ellen, ralph enjoys the greatest life possible for the past, the last half decade of his life.

Speaker 1: 2:39

Now I wonder, though, if she ever thought of her dad's writings, because Ralph Waldo Emerson has had a huge impact on me, for example, because he says there's four things that it takes to be incredible I'm going to use the word amazing. The first one is the purpose of life is not to be happy but to matter. If you remember, in the days of the train, happiness is not the engine that should drive our train, it's the caboose that comes behind it's derivative. It comes out of fulfilling purpose. The purpose of life is not to be happy but to matter. If you will matter, you will feel the contentment of happiness that comes with it. The second thing is God will not have his work to be done by cowards. For you and me to be a caregiver, it takes courage. There is no such thing as a cowardly caregiver. It takes courage to do this day in, day out. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and I'm almost 60. So God will not have his work to be done by cowards, and let me encourage you, friend. You're doing this work because God knows you're courageous, even if you don't feel like it most times.

Speaker 1: 3:51

The third thing Ralph Waldo said was imitation is suicide, that ultimately we can draw inspiration from one another and we should. That's why I'm doing Helping Mom. But we ultimately can't copy anyone's path. It's unique, based on nuances, personality, subtlety, timing, finances, the age in which we live, et cetera. So we shouldn't try to quote someone else necessarily and do it verbatim. We should draw inspiration from challenges with each other rather than trying to somehow copy. You know, a cut and paste. This is what it's like to be a caregiver.

Speaker 1: 4:24

The final thing that Ralph Waldo Emerson said is that to be great is to be misunderstood. Now, I'm sure Ellen did not think of herself as greatness, and I'm sure we don't either as caregivers. So let's maybe not say to be great is to be misunderstood. Let's say to do great is to be misunderstood. All of us know it's a lonesome valley, it's a singular road to caregiver for your loved one. All of us know that we're questioned, doubted, divorced, sued, you know, gossiped about or just simply ignored. That's maybe the worst thing is to just simply, you know, have someone half smile at you in public with this face of pity and then walk past you. But these four things really are the challenge for us as caregivers. The purpose of life is not to be happy, but to matter. God will not have his work to be done by cowards. Imitation is suicide. And the final one is to be great is to be misunderstood or, if you will, to do great is to be misunderstood. So let me encourage you with these words from Ralph Waldo Emerson, as I'm sure he hopefully shared them with his daughter, Ellen, before he forgot them. Thank you.

Speaker 1: 5:31

So, friend, what do you think it takes to be a great caregiver? Please email me your thoughts and ideas, your experiences and stories, also your prayer requests. I read each email personally and I respond to each person. You can email me at info at helpingmom. Info at helpingmom. Thanks, have a great day.